Fight of the Century

A radio announcer's voice, "Good evening Ladies and Gentlemen and welcome to the big fight."

"It's the battle of the wills: Man vs. Rabbit."

"And in this corner weighing in at 9 lbs and 23 inches long, Buddy Rabbit. In the other corner, the Man: measurements unknown at this point, but he's pretty big."

"At stake, the man wants the rabbit to go to his pen to eat and sleep. The rabbit wants to stay out all night and play."

"Who'll win this battle of wills?"

[ ding - ding ]

"And there's the bell. The man approaches the rabbit and with a firm voice says 'Bed.'"

"The rabbit hunkers down for a back rub. The man gives a couple of rubs including a tickle to the belly. Again says 'bed.'"

"The rabbit, ears lowered, turns and snaps at the man but doesn't connect. He hops under the desk. What will happen next?"

"Still saying 'bed,' the man approaches the rabbit who hops out and hunkers down for a rub. The man falls for this. Fight delayed."

"A few rubs later, the man again says 'bed.' His voice is wavering; already showing signs of fatigue. The rabbit makes his first move toward the stairs, but fakes; running past the man back under desk."

"More coaxing, the rabbit comes out and moves again toward the stairs. He stops, looks at the man, tries his fake again but is blocked."

"We're in the hall now. Buddy Rabbit hides behind the curtain by sticking his head in but forgets his hide quarters. The man tickles Buddy's back and the rabbit is off. Threw a cat tunnel, tosses a toy and stops at the top of the stairs."

"He turns, cocks his head. More head scratches from the man. I think the rabbit should at least get points for being adorable."

"Ooops, I see movement."

"Sensing that this position is vulnerable, the rabbit hops down the stairs to cuddle with his stuffed bear."

"He's so cute, the man has to stop and rub the rabbit. Point for the rabbit."

"This might take a while, so let's take some time for a commercial break."


[ Commercials ]


"And we're back. After much rubbing, the man resumes his quest to get the bunny to bed."

"He repeats the word "bed" several times."

"The rabbit looks at him like he's crazy."

"Buddy makes general move toward the sun room and his pen. The rabbit makes some general movement toward his pen, but is down again for more back rubs. The man doesn't fall for it. 'Bed' he commands."

"Buddy reluctantly hops into the sun room. He looks at the backdoor as if he needs to go out. 'Bed' the man repeats."

"Buddy moves toward the pen. He looks in... But no! He goes under the curio cabinet. Score another for the bunny!"

"Wait, what's this? Buddy smells piles of food placed in his pen. Nose wiggles. He comes out to stare at the food."

"Buddy looks at the man. Gets more head pats. Hops into pen. It's over! The rabbit went to bed! All's well with the world!"